Merry Christmas
by die Otter
Summary: First Christmas after Sam left for Stanford. Pre-series. One-shot.


**A/N Huge thanks to FictionalNutter for beta reading it for me!**

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**Merry Christmas**

It is an early winter evening. The snowflakes are swirling in the light of the streetlamps, then slowly, lazily falling to the ground. Some of them landing on the hood of a big black car parked in front of a shabby motel. Only two out of fifteen rooms have their windows bright with the light coming from the inside. The remaining ones are vacant and dark, which means that there are not many guests staying here tonight. It is empty, quiet and peaceful here. It is Christmas Eve.

Dean Winchester switches between the TV channels, not really paying attention to what is on. Instead, he casts a furtive glance at his father. John Winchester looks at his watch and finally addresses his son.

"Dean, check it again."

"I did just an hour ago."

"Dean..."

The young man knows that look too well.

"Yes, sir," he answers hollowly and reaches for his laptop. He is sure that there is little possibility of finding a new case right now. But he also understands why his father is so desperately seeking a job to concentrate on during Christmas. And he knows what else John wants him to look for, even though the oldest Winchester will never say it out loud. That's why Dean checks the e-mail box as well, both his and his father's, yet the message they are waiting for is not there.

A phone rings. John almost jumps out of his place. He rummages around the stuff on the bed, finds the cell and glances at the screen. He freezes for a moment and Dean holds his breath. Then his father speaks, greets Bobby, answers him in a few monosyllables and quickly hangs up. Dean pretends that he is suddenly extremely interested in American Idol. Soon the whole situation repeats, and again John's reaction to the sound of the ringtone is odd to say the least. This time, however, it is just Pastor Jim. He calls with Christmas wishes, but they all know that in fact he just wants to know if the Winchester men are alright. When the talk is over Dean feels his father's gaze on him. Still, he does not turn, he only changes channels once more and turns up the volume. _Home Alone _is on, and soon Dean finds himself captured by the old comedy again. The tension in the room seems to subside and he even lets out a laugh a time or two. John is silent, but Dean notices that even he finally relaxes a little bit and starts paying attention to the movie. Finally it is over; the young protagonist having learned the value of Christmas spent with your family. Dean dares to cast one more glance at his father. John isn't looking at the TV any more, but the moment he notices his son's worried look he rises and speaks with his strong, firm voice,

"It's late, son. Time for bed."

Dean obediently switches the TV off. He really does not feel like arguing with his father today, so he decides to ignore the fact he has just been treated like a baby. Instead, he goes to the bathroom, takes a long, relaxing shower. When he is finished he comes back to their room, just to find John seated near the window, in exactly the same spot he was when Dean left for the bathroom. There is a phone in his hand, but when he hears the door creak, he quickly puts it down on the table. All the feeling of relaxation leaves Dean as soon as his gaze rests on his father, so he gathers all his courage and voices the thing that has not left his mind for the whole evening.

"Call him, Dad."

"Call who?" John raises a questioning eyebrow, although this theatrical gesture is unnecessary because they both know who is this all about.

"Dad, look, I'm sure he misses us just as much as we miss him."

"Enough!" John raises his voice. "Your brother has made his decision and I don't see why I should bother with him right now."

Dean knows very well that this is the moment to back off, but he ignores it, breaks the unwritten rule and continues. He should expect it but still he is surprised when his father explodes with anger. Finally he himself lets his emotions gain the upper hand as well and soon they both yell things that they have been hiding deep inside for weeks. Somewhere in the middle of the argument Dean realizes he and his father have never fought like this before. To his own surprise, he suddenly understands what his brother had been going through a few months earlier.

The door slams shut and Dean is left alone. His anger is gone as quickly as it started and, expecting his father to come back soon, he formulates the apology in his mind. Not sure what to do, having lost the interest in the TV completely now, he makes both beds and fifteen minutes later he decides to go to sleep and wait till the morning, when they both will have dealt with their anger enough to talk. But sleep does not come and finally he gives up, switches the lamp on, looking at the clock. It has been almost three hours since John left. He tries to suppress his worry, knowing that his father is perfectly capable of taking care of himself. Finally he admits to himself that his need to go looking for John stems not from his worry about the older man, but from the need to be close to him. Especially now, when it is Christmas, when they are left only with each other and when so much has happened in their little family over last months, they should stick together, support each other, not jump down each other throats like this. Going back in his mind to the argument again, Dean makes his decision and reaches for the phone. He dials the number for the first time in months, raises the phone to his ear and waits. After a while he finally hears the familiar voice.

_Hi. This__is Sam Winchester. I can't answer right now, so if you want, pleas__e leave me a message after the tone._

THE END


End file.
